SPRINGFIELD TOWNSHIP, Ohio – If you’re a mother rushing to get your kids dressed, fed and to the bus stop on time before speeding to an 8 a.m. meeting with your boss, you might need more work-life balance.
That was the topic Friday of Leadership Mahoning Valley’s Lessons in Leadership Speaker Series at the Lake Club. The event launched LMV’s Women’s Leadership Network and about 80 women attended the luncheon titled, “Work-Life Balance – Is it Possible?”
Ruth M. Bowdish, managing director of On Demand Healthcare and one of the panelists, said one of the biggest challenges is the expectations women put on themselves.
“And so therefore it becomes very difficult for us to engage in self-care practices – to give ourselves permission to engage in self-care,” she said.
Maria Stevens, owner of Maria Stevens Coaching and Consulting, who works in leadership development, facilitated the discussion. Francine Packard, director of student counseling services at Youngstown State University, and Dr. Fareedah Goodwin-Capers, who works with Mercy Health Physicians, were the other panelists.
Packard said women may place so many expectations on themselves because of something they heard or something they experienced. But what may have served you well 10 years ago doesn’t necessarily serve you well now, she added.
“So it’s really giving yourself permission to shift, change your dreams, change your ideas,” Packard said. “Your value system may shift. It doesn’t mean that it’s better or worse than what it used to be. It just might be different. And the way you perceive yourself has everything to do with how you treat yourself.”
Women also find it difficult to ask for help, she said.
Goodwin-Capers said women often compare themselves to others. She mentioned a friend who wanted to emulate her mother who vacuumed the house every day. But everyone’s situation is different. That friend’s mother may not have had the same work schedule as her friend. Their children weren’t involved in the same activities, she said.
Bowdish added that societal standards also factor into high expectations for women. They’re expected to attend every practice for their children’s sporting activities while making sure not to miss board meetings at work.
Stevens, the facilitator, said attempting to meet expectations and trying to do it all can lead to burnout.
Packard defined burnout as “when the external demands exceed your ability,” and everybody has a threshold. Often women don’t pay attention to that threshold and that has mental, emotional, physical and spiritual impacts.
Women have to learn to say no and to set boundaries, Packard said.
Bowdish said a 2023 survey reported that most people don’t know how to unwind. If you don’t have boundaries and healthy coping skills, you may turn to alcohol to relax and that can lead to problems. People need to examine the reason they’re picking up that drink, she said.
Goodwin-Capers said women have to make a point to make themselves a priority.
“Make a plan, schedule it …,” she said. “We have a family calendar where it says, ‘soccer practice, take the kids to dance.’ Put in your workout. Schedule in your book club. Schedule in your church meeting.”
It needs to be on the calendar or it won’t happen, Goodwin-Capers said.
Pictured at top: Maria Stevens, Ruth Bowdish, Dr. Fareedah Goodwin-Capers and Francine Packard